Gamethread: Smelly Hobo Sox at Twins

Smelly hobo (?) socks, courtesy of the author.


First, about last night. I got my little guy to sleep and decided to finish watching the end of the White Sox game. Watched a couple of fruitless extra innings, and after Minny failed to win it in the 11th, I made the responsible decision not to stay up for three-plus hours waiting for the Twins to just win already, so I went up to bed.

Because I hate myself and I clearly have a problem, I said oh, I’ll just put on my MLB AtBat Radio feed of Ed and DJ on and I’ll just fall asleep anyways. So, Ryan Cordell did this:

[Lee Corso voice]: NOT SO FAST MY FRIEND!

Which, as we all learned from that one episode of Futurama, the White Sox Media Account people were “… technically correct. The best kind of correct.” Anyway, I went to bed seemingly assured the Sox couldn’t possibly biff this one up.

SEVERAL HOURS LATER

BIFF

Jesus Christo on a cracker … the Tank is officially on.

This sums it up, I think:

Indeed Wilzy…White Sox Baseball: Wut Is U Doin?

LINEUPS!!!

I guess I should finally discuss this upcoming game. So [Professor Farnsworth voice] GOOD NEWS EVERYONE!

Iván Nova will get the unheard of (for these parts) One-Inning Opener start! My how time flies when you are crashing and burning!

The Sox Lineup:

The flies are the bullpen. (istockphoto.com)

For the Twins:

Ah who cares, these fictional Twins could probably Run Around Sue Ricky just as easily:

The actors that portrayed Billy Heywood’s starting 9 could probably handle the Sox as easily as this montage indicates.

Gametime is at the very odd 6:40 p.m. CST. It’ll be on NBC Sports Chicago, which evidently might be leaving ATT U-Verse thanks to a helpful blurb that crawled across the screen last night. Unless I decide to cut the cord finally, WGN 720 AM is likely where I will be listening to next season. I’ll be back with a non sitcom-themed recap tonight, because frankly this squad don’t recognize or deserve genius.

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lwilz17
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lwilz17
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I’m not even dignifying Palka with a Wut iz u doin? That is reserved for Ricky and semi-competent bullpen pitchers. BUT IN OTHER NEWS HEYYYOOOO NEW MERCH WHO DIS?

Moncada White.jpg
Pointerbabe
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Oooooooooh!

Joe Resis
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Nice socks, haha

lwilz17
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Also, look at us trying to stay up and watch the entire shitshow last night and then up bright and early to complain about Ruiz at 6 am (just noticed the time stamp). We’re either die-hards or masochists

Joe Resis
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Moncada and Eloy come through! Early lead for the Sox.

Ashley Sanders
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10-game hit streak for Eloy! (71 RBIs on the season!)

Ashley Sanders
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Let’s have a fantastic outing, Fulmer!

Ashley Sanders
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Cruz grounded out to end the inning. I am already so proud, Carson

Ashley Sanders
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Yolmer with a base hit! cool

Brett Ballantini
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Ashley itching to pull the sunglasses emoji back out!

Mark Liptak
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Any win is a good one at this point in time. Bullpen is absolutely tapped out though, good thing they have a day off Thursday. Goal is 70 which considering half the lineup is awful isn’t bad when you think about it. But I’ll say it again, the front office better not wet the bed this off season, period. No excuses.

Brett Ballantini
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Forget 70 wins, White Sox, let’s adjust the late-September/2019 goal to get our esteemed colleague Mark to make just one positive comment about you!

Brett Ballantini
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WSB 2019: Yes We Turned Hobo Socks Into Our Rally Cap